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Announcement, invitation etiquette made simple
Wedding announcements
Announcements are generally sent to people who were
not invited to the wedding, but who you want to notify of your marriage.
These can include business associates, geographically
distant family and friends, neighborhood or church acquaintances,
holiday-card lists, etc. They are generally not sent to anyone who received
an invitation.
Announcements can be ordered at the same time as
invitations and are similar in look. They should be addressed and ready to
mail directly after the wedding. Parents or honor attendants can mail them,
if the bride and groom leave immediately for the honeymoon. Remember,
neither the invitations nor the announcements obligate the recipient to
send a gift.
You can enclose a name card with your announcements
to tell your friends and colleagues of your preference. Michelle Lynn Davis
will be changing her name to Michelle Lynn Carter following her marriage
September 25, 2000.
Or, substitute your maiden name for middle name:
Michelle Lynn Davis will be changing her name to Michelle Davis Carter
following... Or, The bride will retain the name Michelle Lynn Davis after
her marriage.
Announcements must always have a year line, and time
of ceremony is never mentioned. It is optional to mention the ceremony
site.
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Wedding Invitations
Ordering invitations
As soon as a date is set and guest lists are
complete, select and order the invitations. Allow at least three months
before the wedding so there will be plenty of time for addressing, mailing,
and responses. You may also want to order ‘Save this Date’
announcements.
Invitations can be ordered online as well as from
jewelers, stationery stores, department stores, specialty shops, or
advertisements in magazines.
All have consultants and/or samples to help in the
selection of paper stock, color, design, and lettering style. Invitations
can be engraved, or thermographed. Thermography is a process that resembles
engraving, but is less expensive and more readily available.
When the order is placed, ask about getting the outer
and inner envelopes ahead of time so that they can be addressed and ready
to mail when the invitations arrive. There may be a small extra charge for
this.
Wedding invitations are to be mailed four to six
weeks prior to the wedding date. They should all be mailed at the same
time. Check with the local post office for the amount of postage needed to
mail the wedding invitations as postage may vary, depending on number of
enclosures.
Preparing the invitations
If the invitations contain several enclosures, the
proper order of placement is as follows: The ungummed envelope contains the
invitation along with the other enclosures and is placed in the outer
envelope so it faces the flap. Tissue paper is placed over the engraving or
printing to ensure against smudging. Or, if you prefer, the tissue paper
can be discarded and not used. Response cards are tucked inside the
invitation and, if needed, include a map. Be sure it is a clear
reproduction on good quality paper. This also belongs inside the invitation
with the other enclosures.
Gold stickers/seals can be placed on the back flap of
the outside envelope and sometimes contain the return address, but it is
more commonly printed.
Invitations are usually issued by the parents of the
bride, or by the surviving parent, or if the bride is an orphan, by the
nearest of kin.
The accepted order of kinship is as follows: Elder
brother; Elder sister; Both grandparents, or one surviving; uncle and/or
aunt; guardian; bride and groom issue invitations themselves; groom’s
family.
The guest list
You will want to create a guest list The list is
equally divided between bride and groom. You can be sure that about 30
percent will not attend, 50percent or more if out-of-town guests. The
bottom line on who to invite depends on the budget.
To figure out how many invitations to order, consider
your guest list. Count one invitation per couple, one each for single
guests, and one for children over age 18 in a family. Then add a dozen for
mementos and 25-50 extra envelopes for mistakes (depending on your total
guest count).
Addressing Envelopes
Envelopes should be handwritten in black ink - never
typed. Do not abbreviate name or addresses. Either have the return address
printed or hand write them when addressing the envelopes.
If a response card is included, be sure it is stamped
and pre-addressed. There are caligraphers who will hand address your
invitations for you.
Write out all streets, cities and states, don’t
abbreviate. Be sure to use zip codes. The only abbreviations that are ok to
use are Mr., Mrs., Ms., Jr., Dr., and Esq. (for an attorney). It is also
proper to write out formal titles, like Doctor, Captain or Reverend.
Guests full names are written on the outer envelope
(e.g., Mr. and Mrs. Martin Andrew Johnson). The outer envelope is sealed
and stamped. Children are not listed in the address on the outer envelope.
The inner envelope is left unsealed and addressed to
“Mr. and Mrs. Johnson,” without first names or addresses.
Children under eighteen may be included by writing their first names in a
line below their parents’ on the inner envelope.
Older children in the family should receive their own
invitation, whether or not he or she is currently living with his or her
parents.
If one of your guests will bring a friend and you do
not know their name, then for a single person, include the name “and
guest” on the inside envelope. Or, if you know the guest he or she
intends to bring, a separate invitation should be sent. When two people
live together, send one invitation addressed to both.
When a married woman keeps her maiden name, address
her as “Miss” or “Ms.” Her name can appear first,
or the names can appear in alphabetical order. “Mrs.” is only
used when the married woman takes her husband’s last name.
A woman who is separated from her husband can be
addressed as Mrs. Mary Johnson. If she is divorced, she can be addressed
the same, or with a combination of maiden and married surnames, like Mrs.
Trainer Johnson. If she has reverted to her maiden name, then it’s
Mrs. Mary Trainer. A widow is addressed on an envelope as Mrs. Martin
Johnson.
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