Odd and Ins - A News Chief Wedding Guide

Tips and tricks for seating arrangements

Many brides say seating arrangements at the reception is their biggest headache. Don’t seat older guests near the band or kitchen. Seat people who share hobbies or occupations together.

Single guests and teens or children can be seated together. Consider a chaperone or entertainment on children’s tables. Seat divorced parents separately, each with their own table of family and friends. This is also a parents choice depending on their civility. They may choose to sit together at a parents’ table. Seat spouses or guests of attendants at head table if bridal party is small, or together on one table if bridal party is large. Consider seating smokers together and away from non-smokers if possible.

If you have a head table, the wedding party should be seated facing the guests, so that everyone can see. Your groom should sit to your left, your maid of honor will sit next to the groom, and the best man will go next to you. The bridesmaids and groomsmen will be seated alternately around the rest of the table. You may also wish to include the clergy-person, your parents, the groom’s parents, grandparents, and godparents.

Many couples are foregoing the head table in favor of regular smaller tables, like the guests sit at. One benefit of this is that you can also seat spouses or guests of the wedding party with their respective attendant. Some feel this is more comfortable for everyone involved in the wedding. It also takes up less room than a head table, if space is limited. Individual tables are also less formal, depending on the atmosphere you want at your reception.

If you are designating seating, write out guests’ names and table numbers on table cards. These cards can be set on a table by the door, arranged in alphabetical order. If you write the guest’s name on both sides, it is easier for guests at the same table who do not know each other to talk to each other. Or a master seating chart can be posted with each guest’s name and table number.

Know the ins and outs before selecting music

Ceremony music

Music is a very important part of your wedding ceremony. Before selecting your service music it is advisable to check with your clergy-person and organist on any special rules for music selection that your church may have. Following is a list of suggestions for selecting your wedding music:

Meet with the organist before you begin selecting your music. Keep in mind that some churches have very firm guidelines on what music is used in liturgical settings. The organist should be well qualified to aid you in selecting your music.

Music is a service rendered as are flowers and photographs. Be sure to discuss the musicians’ fees. They are generally commensurate with the performance experience, number of rehearsals and amount of music to be performed. Do not assume a friend will perform for free.

If at all possible, bring a musician with you when you select your music. It will enable the musician to play through any music with which you may not be familiar.

Know your musicians’ vocal ranges and musical abilities and keep these in mind when choosing your music.

To be sure you are ordering the correct music, know the exact title, the composer and/or arranger, the voice range, and the type of accompaniment needed.

In many cases, the musicians may want to order their own music.

Be sure to get enough copies of each piece. Copying music is illegal and your church could get in trouble for permitting you to use copies. Most professional church organists maintain libraries of music.

Select your music as soon a possible. If something needs to be back-ordered or you it can take up to six weeks to obtain. Also, you should allow time for your musicians to familiarize themselves with the music.

The soloists – vocal and instrumental – should rehearse with the organist before the wedding is to take place.

It is nice to take the time with your family to discuss your music selections so that they understand the church’s music policies and ritual requirements. It is not a good idea to surprise them with something that may be disappointing. It is also quite possible that a family “favorite” may be inappropriate for what the vhurch believes is a sacred moment.

Always have alternate choices. Many times a song may only be available in a collection, or a particular arrangement may have gone out of print, or if you have not allowed yourself enough time, an item may be out of stock. And again, a song may be judged inappropriate in a sacramental celebration. Keep yourself open to new suggestions.

Prelude music can begin about a half hour before the ceremony begins. In a church wedding, these pieces are usually classical organ music, though other instruments such as guitars, flutes, and pianos are sometimes used. Again, consult your musician or clergy-person for suggestions.

If you are having a soloist, the time immediately before the processional is an excellent time for a song. Other songs may be sung during the service if the church customs permit.

The processional music should be majestic and joyful.

The recessional music can have much the same “presence” as the processional, but should be a slightly faster tempo with a hint of excitement.

Reception music

The music at your reception will set the tone for the festivities. Once you have decided on the kind of reception you want, you will then need to determine the kind of music you want.

Your choice of entertainment should be made far in advance, as the best bands are usually booked early.

In selecting a band:

Discuss with the leader the type of music you want played, as well as the kind of music you do not want.

Discuss what specific selections you want played and when.

Find out how many musicians there are, what they will wear, whether or not they play continuously or take short breaks. Specify the exact number of musicians you are hiring and what instruments they play.

If there are certain musicians whom you want to appear personally specify them by name in your contract.

Ask how the rate is computed – hourly or on a set fee basis.

Specify in the contract the date and location of the reception and at what times the band should arrive and leave.

Ask for referrals or ask to listen to them perform. Take time to go hear them at some of their next engagements.

Some bands also use professional staging and lighting effects. Be sure your reception site has adequate room for their equipment and enough electrical outlets.

Ask if you are required to provide the musicians with food.

You will probably need to pay a deposit. Reserve some of the total payment till they are finished playing. This way, if you have disagreements, you can negotiate a final fee.

Get everything agreed upon in writing, including the names of the musicians and hours they will be performing. Also include any overtime rates.

You may also want to consider contacting a disc jockey, who can usually provide a wide variety of musical selections and may act as your master of ceremonies. A DJ will be less expensive than a band and will require less space for equipment. Another benefit is that your guests will hear the original songs played as they remember them. And with a DJ, you will have continuous music, whereas live musicians generally require breaks.

In selecting a DJ:

Ask for other wedding references and call them.

Discuss what music you want and don’t want.

* See if you can provide your own favorites if the DJ doesn’t have them.

Specify in the contract the date and location of the reception and at what times the DJ should arrive and leave.

Find out how many hours are included in the fee and what are overtime rates.

Ask how many breaks he/she will take and for how long.

Ask if you are required to provide the DJ with a meal.

Check on what equipment he/she will bring and double check the room facilities.

Ask if he/she has backup equipment and/or a backup DJ in case of illness.

The DJ’s attire should match the formality of your wedding.

Get everything agreed upon in writing.