The perfect reception is all about planning
The reception is a party, a celebration of your
marriage – the tone and style should reflect and compliment your
wedding theme. Again. Planning ahead will ensure that everything goes
smoothly according to your plans. The hour of the ceremony will be a guide
as to the appropriate reception time to choose. Ideally, invite all your
guests to both the ceremony and the reception, if possible. The reception
should follow the ceremony immediately.
Location
Once you have decided on the number of guests, the
type of reception you want, and the amount of money you want to spend, you
will need to choose a location. Some ideas of who to contact are listed
below:
»Hotels - many also offer package deals including
special room rates for guests.
»Historical mansions - check with historical
societies, chamber of commerce or yellow pages. Elegant mansions can often
offer unique reception sites.
»Specialty wedding sites - some locations cater
specifically to weddings and can provide a full-service location.
»Fraternal organizations – try your local Moose,
Elks, Knights of Columbus, Fraternal Order of Police, Eagles, Veterans of
Foreign Wars, or American Legion lodges. Many rent their halls to
non-members. Each has its own rules and policies.
»Churches – Many have halls they will rent to
members and non-members as well. Again, check on their policies.
»Country club.
»Restaurants with banquet rooms – Check your
local Yellow Pages.
»Ballrooms – Check your local Yellow Pages.
»Parks – Check city, county and state parks with
suitable facilities.
»Home – Be sure there is enough room for
everyone to move about comfortably and sufficient parking space available.
»Outdoors – You may want to rent a tent so that
you have a covering over your head in case of rainy weather.
Check you local Yellow Pages for names of places to
contact, or ask friends, relatives, and recent newlyweds for suggestions.
Once you have narrowed down your search, here are
some questions to ask before you book a reception site:
» Is there a rental fee and what does it include?
How many hours does this include?
» Are there restrictions on decorations, flowers,
candles, photography, etc.?
» Are any decorations included in your rental fees
(e.g. table decorations)?
» Will you need to pay extra for services like
bartenders, janitorial, parking attendants, coat-check, etc.
» What about parking and cost?
» Is there a limitation on the number of people the
room will hold and for what type of reception - sit down meal, buffet,
etc.?
» What time can your guests be admitted and is
there adequate space outside the room if they have to wait?
» When can vendors deliver items - cake,
decorations, etc?
» Is there a dance floor, how big, any extra
charges, and any restrictions on music/musicians/equipment?
» Are there microphones and/or any other equipment
provided? At what cost?
» Who will do the catering - must you use theirs?
» Is there adequate kitchen facilities?
» Is there a wedding coordinator or banquet manager
who will be in charge and can you meet him/her before the reception?
» Are there restrictions on smoking and is there a
separate location set aside for smokers?
» Is there liability insurance in case someone gets
injured?
» What is their policy if something gets damaged or
broken?
» What is the payment schedule and when do you have
to guarantee number of guests?
» Is the deposit refundable and what is the
cancellation policy?
» Are there any other activities going on at the
same site or any other weddings booked for the same day? If so, do they
also have music?
Decorations
The color scheme you choose for your wedding should
follow through – from your attendants’ dresses and flowers to
the colors you choose to decorate the hall. Discuss with the manager as to
what extra touches are necessary and/or allowable. They may also have
recommendations for vendors who have previously decorated the site and what
was done.
Many locations may provide some decorations included
in your rental fee, such as table centerpieces, fresh flowers, etc. If you
have an outside wedding, flowers may already be there and your challenge
may be how to decorate tents and food tables.
Also, it is often more convenient to hire someone to
decorate the reception hall or site, as well as to remove the decorations
and clean up. Some sites require all decorations to be gone directly after
the reception. Your family or friends may be very willing, but it may not
be convenient for them. The hall usually has some personnel available for
hire, or a referral list of acceptable persons. Cleanup may also be
included in your rental fee, but should be discussed when choosing the
site.
The Head Table at the Reception
Naturally, the seat of honor will be yours at the
main table during the reception. You will want to make the very best
impression, as will the entire wedding party. Here are some helpful hints
for the time when all eyes are upon you.
»Keep your voice at a moderate level, and refrain
from conversation during any “little” ceremonies – when
the best man is giving the newlyweds a toast, or when the clergy-person is
saying a prayer before the meal, etc.
»Concentrate when you are eating – be careful so
that you don’t accidentally spill some food or beverage on that
beautiful dress. If you’re too nervous to eat, don’t force
yourself. But do eat something if you plan to indulge in a few ceremonial
toasts.
»Keep that wedding glow about yourself –
Remember you’re the focus of attention for the whole crowd, the
cameras, and so forth. Groomsmen should leave their jackets on. Bridesmaids
should wait to kick off their shoes!
»Appoint a special person to wait on the head table to
keep it uncluttered. A low centerpiece should be used so that it
won’t block anyone’s view.
»If guests jointly propose a toast, try to give
everyone the pleasure of acknowledging their toast by giving each other a
short kiss.
»Rise to greet guests who come to offer their best
wishes, and let them know how glad you are that they could come.
If you have a head table, the wedding party should be
seated facing the guests, so that everyone can see. Your groom should sit
to your left, your maid of honor will sit next to the groom, and the best
man will go next to you. The bridesmaids and groomsmen will be seated
alternately around the rest of the table.
Many couples are foregoing the head table in favor of
regular smaller tables, like the guests sit at. One benefit of this is that
you can also seat spouses or guests of the wedding party with their
respective attendant. Some feel this is more comfortable for everyone
involved in the wedding. It also takes up less room than a head table, if
space is limited. Individual tables are also less formal, depending on the
atmosphere you want at your reception.
Order of events
Here’s some suggestions for wedding reception
order - feel free to personalize this to your preferences, as all
receptions are a bit different, sometimes depending on location and/or
religion.
If the receiving line is done at the reception, after
the line and after the cocktail hour is finished, the guests move into the
main dining area and are seated.
When the guests are all seated, the Master/Mistress
of Ceremony (sometimes the DJ acts as M/MOC) introduces the bridal party.
Whoever does the introductions should check beforehand on preferences of
names and pronunciations.
If they have not already been seated also, there can
be a procession — beginning with bride’s parents, groom’s
parents, flower girl and ring bearer, bridesmaids and groomsmen, best man
and maid of honor, and finally the bride and groom.
If the receiving line is done after the ceremony,
introductions can still be made at the reception, with or without a
procession.
The first dance with just the bride and groom can
take place right after the introductions above or after the meal is done.
Toward the end of the song, the M/MOC tells the bridal party to join in and
then guests may also be included if you like.
One consideration is the length of time the
photographer will be at the reception and if you want the first dance
captured on his/her film.
The cake cutting is introduced by the M/MOC and they
can direct guests to the location. This is usually done before the meal, so
the cake can be served in sequence after the meal, without having guests
get up and down.
Just before the main meal is served, the best man is
introduced and he toasts the couple. The maid of honor can also toast if
she wishes. And it is customary at religious weddings to have the officiant
say a prayer before everyone eats (prepare him/her in advance to do this).
If there is a buffet, some direction may be announced on what is where and
perhaps a table order for forming the lines.
Toward the end of the reception, the M/MOC can gather
eligible ladies to the middle of the floor and the bride tosses her
bouquet. The groom can remove the garter and toss it to eligible men. The
groom/bride and/or bride’s father/mother can stand up and formally
thank the guests for attending and helping to make the wedding special.
Other events can be announced/done, such as slide
shows of bride/groom’s growing up, professional dancers or
entertainers, solo singers, readings/speeches, the dollar dance, disposable
cameras on each table (and what guests are expected to do with them), etc.
